My Gran

I am taking a turn away from my usual entries, the ones that are fluffy and have no depth, and in turn, going to pour myself out for a bit.  Maybe.  I feel my eyes welling up and my throat closing even thinking about the scare that happened this week.
On Monday my Gran was taken to the hospital for chest pains.  After multiple tests, they finally concluded that it is her gallbladder instead of her heart, but I'm sure years were probably scared off my life. 

My earliest memory is of my sister and I pushing chairs up to the counter in my Gran's house and "cooking" our mom breakfast.  Our mom, who worked night shift at the hospital, who was supposed to be supervising her 2 year old girls, but instead had drifted to sleep on the couch while my grandparents went to walk the mall.  Needless to say, we made a horrendous mess!

We get our love of cooking from Gran, she started teaching us when we were barely old enough to talk.  We knew how to make eggs in the microwave, since the stove was off limits until we were at least 8.  She taught us how to make the world's best deviled eggs. 

Mom had it rough raising three girls on her own, but where we lacked a dad, we made up for it with the sweetest grandparents a kid could ever hope to have.  They have given guidance, love, support, and wisdom that is much needed.  We could always count on them to be there at basketball games, soccer matches, graduations.  Where the pain of our dad choosing to be absent was like a dull ache deep inside of one's soul, my grandparents are the balm that soothes and comforts it away. 

My Gran will always have me a PB&J sandwich and a bowl to dip it in milk at the drop of a hat. Everyone loves staying the night at Gran's!  She still to this day brings me lunch to my work.  All of my friends call her "Gran" and she treats them like they are her grand kids too. 

I almost lost my entire family a year ago.  They were coming back from a vacation; my mom, her gf, Gran, Grandad, my great aunt, and nephew.  They were hit head on by a car full of teenagers.  All of the teenagers perished except one.  My grandparents haven't ever fully recovered from the injuries sustained during the crash.  This goes to show that nothing is permanent, nothing is guaranteed in this life.  My heart breaks for the families of those kids, but at the same time I was so thankful that my family had been spared. 

The phrase: "Live every day as if it is your last" is my new motto.  I am nice to everyone I meet.  I hold no grudges because it isn't worth the effort (and my memory stinks anyway).  I end every phone call to my family and friends with the words "I love you" and it is always said with the depth of my emotions infused.  I cherish every day and try to find something good in it.  I try to remain positive and upbeat, no matter the situation.  I do things to try to make myself a better person.

I know I have my flaws; don't get me wrong. I am a sensitive, emotionally high strung, anxious individual.  I drive the people around me nuts with my constant worrying and indecisiveness.  At the end of the day though, they look past my flaws (I hope) and love me for me anyway. 

I think I'm going to end my entry today with this:  Go out and make someone smile, because more likely than not, they need it just as bad as you do. 

Love to all my blogging buddies and I hope you have a happy Wednesday.